Stressage Anywhere



Stressage Anywhere – Prelim 19 April 2013


This was our first attempt at Dressage Anywhere (actually no that’s a lie, we did ‘attempt’ it once before but Millie was having a particularly camel like day and we were having a personality clash so we didn’t even get around to pressing the ‘record’ button, so just by getting it on camera this time was a very good achievement in itself)


The concept of Dressage Anywhere is simple, you learn a test, practice it, grab a camera that has a video function (99% of cameras these days) grab an unsuspecting friend, partner or family member to press record and happy days – 4 minutes later you should have a decent quality video of yourself and your equine dance partner floating around the arena like Torville & Dean, upload it, wait for lovely positive comments on score sheet, take constructive criticism the way it’s meant to be taken from the not so positive comments, set oneself a plan on what to improve on for next month and get back out there full of inspiration and start training.


Sometimes it doesn’t go like that though. Sometimes goes more like this. Half learn a test on commute to work, practice once that week (where do the weeks go), panic that you only have one weekend left in the month to get this bloody thing filmed and entered, grab a camera that has video function (but unfortunately and to your horror does not have zoom or focus functions so you and your beloved steed just look like brown ghosts (midget camel ghosts at that) loitering around in circles at the end of the arena, attempt next day with different camera, slightly better quality video but horse decided to add in some freestyle head banging at E, some ‘fall out of canter so badly your nose runs along the ground for 10 strides’ at X and was adamantly determined to get as close to the camera as possible at the final halt and give the judge our best ‘I’m doing this but I’m really not happy about it’ face as we salute, realise that’s as good as it’s gonna get so upload anyway (easier process than expected-hurrah), wait 24 hours to receive car crash score sheet and see how many negative comments £12 can buy you these days (actually quite a lot you’ll be pleased to know), take negative comments badly, vow to give up on the dressage, but then notice right at the bottom  (through bleary, tear stained eyes) that the judges have mustered some form of positivity in their comments and have written ‘attractive horse’, and not only ‘attractive horse’ but ‘attractive horse that shows much promise’ (… trot…..) , waits patiently for Carl or Charlotte to call saying they are in desperate need of an attractive horse that can trot, carry on waiting whilst re evaluating dressage dreams and writing FOR SALE advert…..


Oh and we got 64% *which I am secretly quite pleased with considering the mad panic, the technical problems faced, the sporadic head banging episode and the general inability to do any of the movements correctly or in the right place*


In the words of Yazz ‘the only way is up’


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